From Heaven to Hell

It should be a day of celebration. After all my exams had ended! Earlier than most people I know. Yay I was indeed elated. Firstly, because exams are over (duh). Secondly, I finally had a chance to talk to the guy that I had noticed since Year 1. Year 1!!! He's my coursemate but we just didn't converse. Or perhaps once or twice with our mutual friends around. Today, before the paper, we were scrambling through our notes for the very last struggle, at the same table with some mutual friends. Didn't really talk. It was after the paper that we talked.

The venue was at some seminar room and when I was at the door I kinda said "Yay! Exam's over!".

So as he was holding the door, he heard me and asked "Wah, so fast! How come?"

Smilingly "Cos I have only 4 modules and 3 papers! Hee"

"So good. I have two more. One on sat(or fri?) and one next week."

All I managed was "Ohhh". Man!!! I was walking behind him all the while. And he went over to his locker, which was right in front of the exam venue. There was a sudden awkward silence. He reached for his stuff in the locker. My friends had joined me and I left. I left without saying a GOOD LUCK or BYE BYE!!!! WTH!! I can't believe myself!

MELISSA TAY HUIFEN when can u stop being so HUM in front of guys u fancy??? When can u stop acting cool and pretend like u are the least interested when u actually think otherwise??!!!! Blardly useless. So in the end the two things that lifted me up landed me hard on the ground. I've come to realise that talking to him for the first time prolly meant the last time as well. I'm graduating! And I think he is too. I probably won't get to see him again, unless during commencement, if he's graduating that is. How sad. Ok I'm being abit too *flowery* here. And the other thing is that, although my exam's over, it'll probably be my last exams in abit, that is if i decide to pick up books again. I don't wish to leave school. I would gladly take up psychology if someone had sent me packing to perhaps US, without me having to cope with the fees. I had wanted to leave for overseas studying right after JC. But my parents got pretty worried when I broke the news and besides, they would have to cough up alot of money. I was actually on the verge of applying, checked out the schools and the requirements all by myself. For several reasons, I stayed. It's not that I wasn't happy these years but I thought life would be so much different if I had taken the other route. Now it's time. Time to put all these dreams and wishes aside, perhaps only to be realised few years down the road, if I still have the enthusiasm for studying.

If we continue to evade, we will never grow up. Sooner or later, I will have to step into the society one day!!! But just minutes after my paper, a nostalgic vibe hit me. I'm beginning to miss school life eventhough I've yet to leave school, for now. Who knows maybe I have to dabao!! No I don't want this to be the reason I'm staying in school.

=missing U=