Basking in Love

I feel Loved
I feel Blessed
Even if it's just by friends
I can survive alone on that

What more can I ask for

with friends who are steps away from me
who

for my birthday
plan my birhday surprises
work on my gifts for one week every night

when sick
come to my bed with a glass of warm water
warn me not to wander around

when down
give me hugs
shoulder that allows me to lie on
listen to my stories and complains

when in pain
hold me tight
give me massages

when bored
entertain me
make merry with me
snap pictures of me

when hurt
check the hospitals and insurance
force me to the hospital
to get my hand treated

when daily
take care of me
afraid I'll aggravate the injury
on the wall, and in the wallet (oops haha)
put up photos of me

when happy
they are the reason
that makes me happy


and friends miles away, but hearts feel close

who

when in doubt
reads me like a open book
give me the best advice

when in need
give me a piece of mind
listen to my heartaches

when restless
talk with me til the wee hours
bitch about the countless

for my birthday
send their wishes
and the parcels
they remember




They were there when I needed them the most
not anyone else
not anyone whom I thought I needed most
To be loved by many is way more fortunate to be unloved by one
To be cherished by many is way more fortunate to be not cherished by one
I will never feel alone
with the care and love showered upon me



One of the parcels! Thanks soooo much!! N me in my wrist support. It's diagnosed as traumatic tendonitis. The support looks cool, but with the metal it's basically immobile. When I'm out ple give me a second look, they probably think I'm acting cool. Looks like some cos-play and pro bowler, so my housemates say!

~I'm gulity cos I haven been uploading pics! that can wait...~

In reply

Time to put things into place
to return what should be in pace
The little one needed it more
who actually had it all

Pages not yet torn
sitting in place it calls
Needed a little lore
to launch everything in store

From the days of yore
The bigger one didn't score
been too much of a chore
thus made it obscure

There won't be anymore
forget about the gone
The little one, set forth
're still the core

Words when Drunk

They may be more truthful, they may b less truthful......
but e words that someone says when the person is drunk is to get wat e person wants.......


"Your self-preservation instincts are what you shud follow........ "

How it is

How beautiful it was
to watch the dark sky
Stars shimmering aplenty
more than pebbles by the sea

How nostalgic it was
to long for that presence
By this beautiful scene
One that will never be seen

How ironic it is
to wake up the next morning
and face the reality
Bottom of the scale, still struggling

How sweet it is
to smell the flour and egg beat
efforts by the heat
Delivered, but not to me

How sad it is
to know more than need
truths that were buried
Crude, still igorance it beats

How bewildering it is
to hear the words of slip
yet to witness actions
that doesn't quite tally

How tragic it is
to hold on to a broken dream
Cracks from deep within
Still never regretting

Surprise

A heart felt warm surprise.
Thanks my mate for making the day a special one.
For remembering.
For making an effort.
For all the coordination.
For withstanding the chill.
For putting this together.

I feel blessed.
Even when I am so far away
from where I belong, from the people I belong.
I do not deny, I would have preferred to be there.
There, where things would have been different.
The past celebrations were always within expectations,
but when things you take for granted aren't granted,
you begin to miss them.

But no, I can't ask for more.
For this was the best I could ever wish for.
My loving housemates,
and efforts from the others who cared.
It must have been difficult,
To keep it under wraps,
for we see each other almost 24/7.

Thanks for the hand made card
the well drawn portrait
(it was the person in the portrait that didn't look good)
the hand written well wishes
the lovely poem
the sweetly baked brownie cakes
the thoughtful orh nee (yam paste)
the nicely fitted jeans

You must have been devasted
when I walked into your room
while you were working on my silhouette.

You must have felt denied
when I didn't understand why
while you kept trying to desuade me of the purchase.

You must have felt aghast
when I kept questioning
while we walked past another of our car in the park.

You must have felt disgruntled
when I commented on the drawing
while you took pains to draw only someone special
(And I have to repeat it's the person in the portrait that I meant)

You must have felt beaten
when I recognised the jackets
while I was supposed to be lead away

It still came as a surprise,
eventhough I knew something along the way
from the weird behaviour
from the suspicious questions
from the reflective window pane
I just didn't guess what and how it was
It turned out to be out of my imagination

Awaiting for my anger
Awaiting for my disappointment
Awaiting for my tears
They didn't realise
Cos some things are best left unsaid
Not even to be put in action

Still I thank you
The many of you
As long as I know how you feel
As long as you know how I feel

Words of Tears

To be able to smile and tell (everyone) this, I have, at least, cried 1 litre of tears.



Work like you don't need the money
Dance like no one is watching
Sing like no one is listening
Love like you've never been hurt
and
Live life every day as if it were your last

What is the cure?

This is not good.
My health is taking a toil on me.

My housemates played a prank on me and accidentally injured me. Yes my right wrist again. I guess it's bcos it's still painful that's why when they were abit rough it hurts more. Basically I was grabbed and pulled on my limbs (yes my wrist). So it hurts like hell basically. Wasn't as bad as I just sustained the injury but it was still painful. Tried to heed advice and rub ice on it. Worse! Coldness made it hurt badly. Could feel the cold somehow seep in through the skin haha and it got much worse. So can't do anything about it. Can't really rotate it again! Damn... I probably need to visit some hospital here get an X-ray or what.

So apart from my 101 bruises and injuries, my body is falling apart.

Feeling perpertually bloated. My stomach feels like a balloon with all the gas churning. Never used to have a problem with constipation back in the country except when I was in Thailand haha. I'm just so used to having diarrhea. This is just killing me. Just dun feel good. My doc did tell me that my condition of IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) could cause diarrhea and constipation. But it was forever the former. Stress and anxiety could aggrevate it. Well well... And things can't be any worse, vomitted twice in 3 days. And it's alot of vomit. I know I can vomit alot. But ya, this is not right. Vomitting after meals.

Is it the water?
Is it the diet?
Is it the climate?
Is it the anxiety?
Is it the stress?

Or is it just me?
And the things happening ard me?

晓得

晓得
打从第一天
你所有眷恋与依恋
逃避的原来是我
不肯面对　你最真的想念

晓得
曾付出过的
或许不是你想要的
不会再要求什么
静悄悄的　就这样等待着

晓得
不该烦你了
要作个旁观者
只会听你说着
给予意见　是错误的选择

晓得
不扰乱你了
你现在的迷惘
我却帮不上忙
无能为力　最无助的彷徨

晓得
是他教我的
应该给你时间
你私人的空间
当需要时　才出现在身边

－－傻瓜


(view in Unicode)

Words of Magic

When in doubt, feel.

When confused, take a step back from the confusion.
Try to think from a third person's point of view.

When making a choice, feel your choice.

You knew it from Day 1.

Just remember that what you have been through is never for nothing.
Everything in life has a purpose.
It's your purpose to figure out what that purpose is.

Wrist

My stupid wrist hasn't healed. There's a hump.

Cos when I rub it against something, it hurts.
Cos when I press it, it hurts.
Cos when I hit it against something, it hurts.
Cos when I try to bend my wrist to near a right angle, it hurts.
Cos when someone accidentally hit or hold my wrist, it hurts.
Cos when it's hit or pressed, it gets bruised almost immediately.

And I have to press against it when I sleep. Twice.
And I have to get hit by the revolving handle of those huge cupboards on rollers for storing documents. The handle was revolving.

Not that I don't wanna see a doc. I dunno where to look for one.
Not that I am unwilling to spend on the consultation. I dunno who to consult.
Not that I don't care about myself. I dunno why, injuries just happen to me.

So don't scold me ok, for this.

I'll go back and consult one, if you wanna bring me to one.

With Many Thanks

Got home yesterday after some free booze at a company function and guess what I received a package! With an autographed album of Jiaxin and 2 birthday cards!

Thanks sweetie! I know you are the one who put them all together. And thanks for the album! I'll collect my poster in due time!

It's coincidental how I was just listening to Jiaxin's album online yesterday and got the album on that very evening.

It's coincidental how I was telling Lixuan that I'll probably hide in my room and cry for one day if I never received anything from Singapore for my birthday and got a package from you that very evening!

Thanks to the S45 folks for the card. Keep in touch! And I'll meet up with ya guys when I'm back in Feb! Miss the FREE clubbing and drinks hahaha! n Mkt 85!

原来

街灯绊住我眼前

下一步 拉长的影子

嘲弄的回顾 电话亭

仍留着你的话

一句话掉一滴泪

今晚的我 会是如何入睡

原来最疼痛的表情竟是没有情绪

原来最残忍的画面可以甜言蜜语

我不懂得如何更爱你

影子讽刺地 跟着我难分难离

原来最孤单的是我还是那么想你

原来最悲哀的是我不能面对自己

你 收的干净

我也会 不留一点痕迹

说故事也要像是真的

可是别触动那些回忆

今夜你说了最后一句

一句话 掉一滴泪

看来今晚的我 很难入睡

-- JJ, nice song

Just amazing to hear a good fren's album, I mean my friend actually owns an album.

The then Jiaxin/Kayan has now evolved to a up and coming newbie in HK, well recieved and new face for many adverts. Better known as Yong-er (Weng Yi in canto) or Vincy now. Great to know she's doing very well now! The next Joey Yeung to be.

Thanks sweetie for bringing the album back all the way from Hong Kong, with her autograph and poster! Quick link to her new album, Gan Ying

All the best gal!

Behind Drinking

A second attempt to White Mountains was a failure. It was boring, it was tiring, it was raining. We barely climbed, after a 2 hour drive there. Backtracked down the slope. Didn't felt like climbing I guess, drove further to do some shopping. Thunderstorm. The weather forcast was damn accurate.

Drinking session that night went pretty well. Everyone drank alot, but I didn't. Not enuf to make me that high. The guys' head were spinning, one were slurring. And she was lying around everywhere. Perhaps we did things we shouldn't but it was a good chance to get everyone talking, things we might not share when we were sober. Worried that the relationship might fail, showed he was trying to make an effort, how he proclaimed his love for her and the story of the puppy that was repeated thrice. Things that he didn't remember the next day, how her door was left opened the entire night, and the other 2 with a hangover.

We were debating, or discussing rather on how the other halfs or friends would say, that which side feels better: the one who is in the foreign country or the one left behind. The one in the foreign country would tell e one left behind that he/she still has friends, family and all the familiar things in his/her life, people and things to fall back on. The one left behind would tell the one in the foreign country that he/she has a new life, new experiences, new excitement, so much so that may change him/her and may soon have no time for him/her.

No one can verify. Nothing can be done. Cos when you are apart, you are apart. It takes two hands to clap, it takes both parties to make effort. You may not think the other party is making any effort, but he/she may be trying in his/her own ways you fail to see. If only the complaining and negative thoughts exist, things are bound to fall apart. Someday, somehow. It cannot be compared anyways, who is to say it's unfair? You will feel the way you feel when you are in that position, you will never know how the other party feels.

No guessing games, but try to keep everything together, isn't it a better solution? Things can be simplified, can be made complicated. Not that no one should complain, not that no one should be negative. But how much is enough? It boils down to the individual, no one knows what the future holds. Who can be sure?

The Weekend

This is a late post. The past wkend was a long one, since Mon was Labour Day and hence a public hols. So despite all the hype and enthusiasm about New York, Niagara Falls and Toronto, none was realised. But we made it to the White Mountains. And we conquered the most difficult one (oh well we almost did), Mount Washington! Took us 6.5hrs to clumb up and down the mountain. We weren't correctly geared or equipped. The other hikers even had some kinda tools (tt looks like it's for skiing) to help them climb. My legs were soooo suan for the next 2 days! But I was pretty proud I was one of the 2 gals who managed to go up there and yet pretty quick haha. I guess it helps that I wasn't afraid of heights. So I see stone, I grab and up I go lol. It's pretty steep and we did have some "dangerous" encounters along the way. And guess what we're returning this wkend to conquer another mountain. Yes there's a range there and it's a real good workout! My legs were so tired and "sour" I had to put in extra effort to climb up and down the stairs at home! It was really bad on the day we returned, I wanted a massage badly!

Stealing time to take some shots in between. Was still energetic, only climbed for an hr or so

First 2 to go up there, and spotted the big boulder! Nice for posing!!

Halfway up there, still surviving, only me & CK!

Taken down there.......

And the few who made it up there!! Haha

So after a day's rest, Mon was to Kennebunkport, an arty farty place! Nothing much but jus nice scenery....

The Sea

The Priest


The Exchange of Vows


And the Ice Cream!
Ben & Jerry's!

White Mountains here we come AGAIN!

For You

Dear Dearie,

Life isn't smooth going. But at least we stand by each other. Can't believe how much of coincidence this is and everything that had happened. Even you and me.

Love you
Momo2

你快乐吗

谁都没权利要求你离开他
即使他总让你伤心牵挂
我只能在你身边听你说说话
听你说着他泪如雨下
跟自己挣扎
其实很多人
都爱得很傻
天真的守著
相爱承诺的话
不问自己快乐吗
只是一昧爱他
直到黯然心碎
才知心乱如麻
我想这就是所谓爱的代价
没有人多潇洒
爱好像燃烧的火花
会随时间升华
我想这就是所谓爱的代价
你不必逼自己离开他
别去管别人怎么看你
说你是傻瓜
问问你自己
你快乐吗
~~Jolin